Top 25 things an actor should never say
"Do I have to read the whole play?"
“Bummer. I was hoping the dressing rooms would be unisex.”
“When you say nudity, do you mean like, naked nudity?”
“You’re doing a great job as the lead, but I have a few notes for you if you’re interested in some feedback.”
“When there’s a long pause after you stop speaking, I’ll know it’s my line.”
“Sorry about my acid reflux in our love scene tonight. Those burps really burn and I just have to let ‘em out.”
“Can everyone be quiet before the show? I need four hours of complete silence before I go on.”
“Can you give me a little more in this scene? Because whatever you’re doing, I don’t really get it.”
“We can take it on the road!”
"My character would never do that."
“But what’s my motivation for the kick ball change, jump jump freeze?”
“Do you think this sequined unitard makes me look fat?”
“I can definitely learn classical guitar for the role by the end of our two week rehearsal process.”
“I’m sorry, I got a pilot.”
“Can I get a cue light for that? I don’t want to have to listen to the play, I’m really sick of it actually.”
“Hmmmm Me May Mi Mo MUUUUU! Can I get one Power Ball and a pack of Camel Lights? And $30 on pump 6.”
“I kicked the light two weeks ago but I think I moved it back to the right spot.”
“What’s your name? I know you’re not that important to the production, but I like to appear friendly.”
“Boy, sucks to be you after that review in the paper. Do you want me to read it to you before you go on tonight?”
“Am I supposed to remember everything we did yesterday?”
“What’s wrong with punching someone for answering their cell phone during the show?”
“What I really want to do is direct.”
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