I don't know why some of the smallest things can affect me so, but here it goes.
So last night I had acting Level 3. Lovin it. I have an awesome scene and a great partner. I'm really liking my character because I'm really feeling like i'm finding his personality and just in general feel like i have a connection, character was always one of my favorate things. So we're doing our scene from Biloxi Blues, it's a work-thru kind of thing where we get feedback and I'm all about that cause I really want to do a good job. I was feeling like I was really in touch with my internal landscape through the scene and when asked how i felt it went I said just that "I feel like i was really in touch with the inside and everything..." so then i'm asked "well what was your character feeling?" should be the easiest question to answer for someone who says he feels he's in touch with the interior landscape and...i can't answer it. It was so embarassing. I was so sure i was doing it right, I was so sure I had it...and then I find i didn't have a clue. I looked like an idiot. I'm trying so hard to impress and I just feel like I'm not doing the trick. Maybe that is why I fail. The main emotion this character needs to feel is fear for his life...i haven't been placed in that situation really so it has me worried maybe i won't get in touch with what that character needs to feel....it's like I really feel i might not be getting it when everybody else is totally getting it. Maybe I'm thinking too much into it. I need to try to let go and trust what i've got...hopefully i'll get it eventually.
2 comments:
Monday wasn't exactly my shining moment either, dear; I wanted to go home swallow a bottle of vicodin and vodka.
Quite honestly there are few things I hate more than notes but at the same time there are few things I need more. If I didn't, then what would I be doing in PAC? We have to learn somehow, even if the process sucks sometimes.
Jack
Ah, "it," and the getting thereof. I gotta tell ya, I don't know what "it" is, and I certainly don't know how to get it. What I do know, though, and this is gonna sound corny, is that listening to your teachers and trying as hard as you can to do what they ask (especially when you feel like there's no way you can), is going to take you places you didn't know you could go to. See? Really corny. And trust me, everyone feels like everyone else is getting it while they just can't seem to figure it out. Well, I hope everyone does. Otherwise it's just me, and I simply will not accept that! Realizing that you didn't get something when you thought you had a deep insight into it is, yes, humbling, but also a great moment. When you've seen and acknowledged that, it's so much easier to move forward to a place of real understanding. OK, this is starting to be an out-of-control, pseudo-philosophical comment. But seriously, you know? Yeah. :)
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